I'm constantly afraid

I feel like watching some foreign shows and memes, both of which I don’t understand, then falling asleep. I can’t admit all of the things that I’ve done in my life, but hopefully I have no secrets that I should tell about. It feels like that time again, to fall asleep for good. I get the impression that I’ve got a lower status in society because others are more popular, and even though they cost more, in some ways I’m even better than them. And I’m constantly afraid of this truth, which doesn’t let me sleep at all. I’m a restless person. No use returning to everyday life if it’s meant to be like this anymore.