Thursday, August 31, 2017
My Intuition Is Telling Me Something
Alright, let me be serious for once. I am in great fear. You may think that I'm insane, but that would be a lie. And I'm also schizophrenic. You see, the problem with me, is that I have an intuition. And I think that intuition is what guides me. My intuition has never been wrong as far as I know, and that's the reason why I believe in it. And currently, my intuition is telling me what I wrote recently, and that is why I am in great fear. So many things relating to my intuition have checked out, so I simply don't know what to do. A phsychologist or therapist isn't what I need right now, because that isn't the type of help that I need. My psychology is totally fine. The world is not. And my intuition is here to help me out, but it's telling me something grave about my life. Sorry guys, but I just don't know what to do; I've exhausted all of my options as far as I can tell, and I don't want anything in the future to come my way, because my intuition tells me that something grave is coming. This is true, and if there were someone listening and seeing from above (I'm not saying that there is or isn't), a higher power, then as of currently, I would be able to honestly tell that higher power, that all of this is true. I want to be led on a peaceful path, not one that leads to the future. 😢
Some More Reflection
I would like to take some time to reflect on my life. You see, something tells me overwhelmingly that I will be condemned, but I'm not a schizophrenic. What to do, if this is reality?! I have no reason to be condemned, nor to feel wrong about anything. I have never done anything bad. Also, I don't have any plans to do anything that could get me into trouble. How do you go about knowing this as the truth, as your intuition tells you this? I mean, after all it is my intuition that is telling me that I will be condemned. I know that it may very well sound very absurd, but this is the truth! See, I've got an intuition. I can tell what's coming in the future, and my intuition has never failed on me. And so I don't know what I should do now. Look, you see the thing is, that you will probably think that I'm an insane person because I believe in intuition this way. And I see where you're coming from, that it's a superstitious kind of thought, but the problem with me is that when I think that something will happen, it does.
Reflections On Everything...
I just thought I'd do some reflecting on everything. How sad...but that's just how it is. I said things that were honest, and I couldn't have said or described it any better! There are no English words that could describe much of anything, but then again all hope is lost. There are no English words that I can use to describe my emotional state. Then again, how do I convey what my life is like!? I mean, sure, you might think of such thinking as crazy, and that just about all of my own thoughts and/or writings are insane. But that's just the truth, and that's exactly what I wanted to do- to get the truth out. This is not an easy thing to write, by any means, but I feel as if I have to do it! It's constantly time to reflect on my life, which is nothing but despair and anguish. I mean, I would write otherwise but it's the truth, do you know? I can't write that I'm happy or anything like that, because it's just not true.
What Did I Do? Where Did I Go Wrong? You Have To Be Crazy! PLEASE HELP ME!
What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? Everything was going by absolutely perfectly, and then I get condemned and it's like the world is finished off with, and so is my life. I must cross the horizon, and get to the other side. The horizon of life, that is. There must be an alternate way, or path out! This is what must happen, or else I face more grueling times ahead. Health is more important than life. Health of the soul is more important that what is going on to me down here on Earth. I must cross to the other side and be free of all of my problems. I need the freedom that it foretails. I need to be one with the universe. My job keeps making me worse every moment, and every moment of my forsaken life I feel like I'm either going to pass out or get a heart attack. I'm done, I don't want to live this life anymore. It's not the same life as it was once before. In fact, it is now a totally different life, in which I only experience anguish and despair, and am forsaken as a result. It's unfortunate but true, and it's gotten to be a toxic reality, literally a toxic relationship of me and something that goes beyond me! I don't hate my life. I despise my life as of now. Everything is grueling and punishing, and there is no way out as far as I can see. But if I can get over the horizon, then maybe I will find what's better and healthier for me. There is a horizon of life, and beyond this horizon, whatever it may be, is better for me and is where I want to rest. I mean, I truly and honestly wish that the entire world was now ending and that it was coming to cease to exist, so that I can feel better because it would be a reflection of my life. I would then know that peace is coming and all of my problems will soon be coming to an end, if the world would come to an end. By letting all of my problems simply go away, I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. For goodness sake, please hope that this is how it's going to be, or else there is nothing to talk or think about when it has to do with the future. Many people are probably dealing with harsh feelings such as depression, though my emotions have definitely gone over the top and are not even describable anymore. You may think to yourself that someone might be looking from down above, such as a higher power. And even if that's true (I'm not saying it is or isn't) then I will hope that whoever is looking from down above agrees, or otherwise life, and everything, is simply not fair! The evaluation of my life and in fact the evaluation of life in general is not fair, because it's misunderstood. You can't understand my life, because, as I've already mentioned, it's indescribable. So to say that my life should keep going on, or that I will be punished or condemned for my actions, is simply not a fair evaluation of life! Because for goodness sake, if you were me, you'd be thinking the same and you'd certainly know what I'm talking about. Everything must come to an end, and so do my problems. My problems must come to an end now and as soon as possible. I mean, I can't live like this at all, I must escape the indescribable. To you, it's probably otherwise known as the unknown. And that's exactly what it feels like, the future of my life is the unknown to you, but I am already condemned. Please. Help. Me. I must convey my psychological state, because my mind is sensing how reality is really going to be. The truth, what is the truth? The truth is what's written in this post. And it will probably make everyone depressed, and take them to the deepest feelings and/or emotions that they can think of, but they will never attain the same kinds of emotions as I am feeling in current times. A message to the world, would be to just do something to make this all come to an end. I wish that you or someone else could help me whatsoever, but as I've already mentioned multiple times, is that the indescribable is happening and you just don't understand how critical this writing is. After all, it's better not to know about or think about anything, because instead, the soul should be left to rest. And nothing should pay me a visit except rest, and contentment.
My Life
I have been in despair, and anguish. I feel as if I'm going to be condemned. Life is far too grueling for me. If anything is for certain, or sure, it is that I will be condemned. I'm already condemned for goodness sake... but being condemned is an understatement, and fails to fully describe me and what I am. I secretly wish that there would be at least a way, out a detour so to speak. I don't know, I mean, I don't even want to know the future, I simply don't want to know the information about the time that is to come. I would prefer not to know anything about my future. I keep sounding crazy as shit and you probably think that way of me, but what I write is true and to be totally honest, if this wasn't true, then I wouldn't be writing these things. I just don't know what to say, please help me find the right vocabulary to help me convey this feeling that I keep hiding and pretending that I don't have.
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
Understatement
Words can't describe my emotional state, even using the word "anguish", or "despair", is a total understatement.
I Would Rather Not Know Anything
I would rather not know, or prefer to not know, anything about life as of now on. I want to go home to the resting place! Seriously! This is for real. I don't want to know any further information, because it is too painful. I don't want to know about tomorrow, or any other time after that. Just let me be in peace already. This is what I ask for!
Just Thought I'd Get This Out There!
I just thought I'd get this out there. I feel as though I am condemned, and in anguish. I would be lying if I said otherwise about this, but saying this is being totally honest. Some day, everything will simply end, or just cease to exist. I'm looking forward to that day. That day when everything just goes away, everything that doesn't belong just won't belong anymore, and all of my problems would just go away. That day when I don't have even have to think about anything anymore.
I Wish That...
I wish that I didn't have to think about anything or know anything, because that would've been better.
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Saturday, August 5, 2017
Friday, August 4, 2017
A Different Time Perception
An ice crystal floats,
making it's way from Antarctica towards the Equator,
but the poor flake is dying because of the heat,
much like some of our emotions die of modern society
and listen to the pureness of the silence
and as the crystal melts,
Majestic shadows gradually moving and smearing over hours
Shallow, ambient light becoming more and less dynamic over the land
What hidden world is there,
with a different time perception?
making it's way from Antarctica towards the Equator,
but the poor flake is dying because of the heat,
much like some of our emotions die of modern society
and listen to the pureness of the silence
and as the crystal melts,
Majestic shadows gradually moving and smearing over hours
Shallow, ambient light becoming more and less dynamic over the land
What hidden world is there,
with a different time perception?
The Fantasy Poem; Fleeting Ghosts and
Fleeting ghosts
and undulating aliens.
I seen a bright light
the energy pulsating from an unknown source
reacting to the geological vibrations
Lightning spreading like the aether
What does the dream mean?
Was it the dancing colors that you seen?
Or maybe the mysterious bright flash seen in daylight?
Oh, what this all means...
when the imagination is running from you?
and undulating aliens.
I seen a bright light
the energy pulsating from an unknown source
reacting to the geological vibrations
Lightning spreading like the aether
What does the dream mean?
Was it the dancing colors that you seen?
Or maybe the mysterious bright flash seen in daylight?
Oh, what this all means...
when the imagination is running from you?
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Is Pixel Count The Most Important Aspect Of A Camera?
It's Generally More About Optics
Many people probably think, or are misled by the notion that the more pixels a camera has, the better it must be, or that the better the image quality will be. When it comes to photography in general, this is not necessarily true. The more pixels a camera has, the less sensitive it will be to light. This is because larger pixels record more light than smaller pixels. So, for example, if a camera has the same sensor and lens as another camera and one of the cameras has 12 megapixels, and the other has only 2 megapixels, then the camera with 12 megapixels will be able to record more detail in a single image though the other camera would probably be considered to be better suited to photography at night, especially if the photographer uses the camera set to automatic mode. The lens is arguably a more important aspect of a camera as opposed to pixel count, or resolution. A camera with 12 megapixels might record worse than a 2 megapixel camera if the 2 megapixel camera has a much better, or higher quality, lens. This is especially noticeable in aperture priority or manual mode when you set various apertures and when you use a broad range of apertures. Ironically though, less resolution also means that the camera will be more forgiving if the lens is poorly designed.
More about sensor size
Now that we've talked about resolution, let's move on and talk in depth about sensor size. Usually, the larger a sensor in a camera is, the more expensive the camera will probably be. In photography, the term depth of field basically refers to a measure of how much sharpness there is in a photo. You can have narrow depth of field, or deep depth of field. Sensor size can influence the amount of depth of field in an image. The larger a sensor, usually the smaller or narrower the depth of field will be, although this also has to do with the lens focal length and aperture (longer focal length=narrower depth of field, while faster apertures [such as f/1.4 compared to a slower aperture of f/2.8] will also create narrower depth of field). A full frame camera can produce a much shallower depth of field then, for instance, a micro four thirds camera, if the lenses' focal lengths are equivalent to each other and if both lenses are set to the same aperture.
"Replicating" a larger sensor using a smaller sensor
I was astounded to know that this technique already exists. You can dramatically decrease depth of field to create an image of something to make it look as though it were much smaller than it actually is in reality, while significantly increasing resolution! I have written a blog post about the pros and cons of this technique, so if you're curious and want to find out more information, read my other blog post about the three ways with which you can accomplish this technique at http://surrealandnotable.blogspot.com/2016/06/photograph-in-miniature-world-how-do-we_10.html
Now, what I 've been wondering recently is what the image would come out like as compared to just using a wide angle lens. For that discussion, you can head on over here: https://www.dpreview.com/forums/thread/4186768#forum-post-59909155
The Best Compact Camera In The World?
I consider my camera, along with some others, as the best compact camera in the world. You can use it much like a DSLR. It's called the Sony RX100 II. I love my Sony. I would like to have a mirrorless full frame camera one day, though I settled on a point-and-shoot camera because for astrophotography through a telescope, or microphotography through a microscope, it seems to be generally better suited, although it can still be very tedious. I tried once to take photos through my telescope using my Canon T1i but without success. I think that the Canon had more dynamic range.
Many people probably think, or are misled by the notion that the more pixels a camera has, the better it must be, or that the better the image quality will be. When it comes to photography in general, this is not necessarily true. The more pixels a camera has, the less sensitive it will be to light. This is because larger pixels record more light than smaller pixels. So, for example, if a camera has the same sensor and lens as another camera and one of the cameras has 12 megapixels, and the other has only 2 megapixels, then the camera with 12 megapixels will be able to record more detail in a single image though the other camera would probably be considered to be better suited to photography at night, especially if the photographer uses the camera set to automatic mode. The lens is arguably a more important aspect of a camera as opposed to pixel count, or resolution. A camera with 12 megapixels might record worse than a 2 megapixel camera if the 2 megapixel camera has a much better, or higher quality, lens. This is especially noticeable in aperture priority or manual mode when you set various apertures and when you use a broad range of apertures. Ironically though, less resolution also means that the camera will be more forgiving if the lens is poorly designed.
More about sensor size
Now that we've talked about resolution, let's move on and talk in depth about sensor size. Usually, the larger a sensor in a camera is, the more expensive the camera will probably be. In photography, the term depth of field basically refers to a measure of how much sharpness there is in a photo. You can have narrow depth of field, or deep depth of field. Sensor size can influence the amount of depth of field in an image. The larger a sensor, usually the smaller or narrower the depth of field will be, although this also has to do with the lens focal length and aperture (longer focal length=narrower depth of field, while faster apertures [such as f/1.4 compared to a slower aperture of f/2.8] will also create narrower depth of field). A full frame camera can produce a much shallower depth of field then, for instance, a micro four thirds camera, if the lenses' focal lengths are equivalent to each other and if both lenses are set to the same aperture.
"Replicating" a larger sensor using a smaller sensor
I was astounded to know that this technique already exists. You can dramatically decrease depth of field to create an image of something to make it look as though it were much smaller than it actually is in reality, while significantly increasing resolution! I have written a blog post about the pros and cons of this technique, so if you're curious and want to find out more information, read my other blog post about the three ways with which you can accomplish this technique at http://surrealandnotable.blogspot.com/2016/06/photograph-in-miniature-world-how-do-we_10.html
Now, what I 've been wondering recently is what the image would come out like as compared to just using a wide angle lens. For that discussion, you can head on over here: https://www.dpreview.com/forums/thread/4186768#forum-post-59909155
The Best Compact Camera In The World?
I consider my camera, along with some others, as the best compact camera in the world. You can use it much like a DSLR. It's called the Sony RX100 II. I love my Sony. I would like to have a mirrorless full frame camera one day, though I settled on a point-and-shoot camera because for astrophotography through a telescope, or microphotography through a microscope, it seems to be generally better suited, although it can still be very tedious. I tried once to take photos through my telescope using my Canon T1i but without success. I think that the Canon had more dynamic range.
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