They’ll never be my friend again...

What. The. Fuck. Let's get away from this scenario! OH wait, I can’t. Makes me feel dead and not alive in this world anymore. I can’t come to terms with any of this. Unforgiveness from others is like a giant hole that swallows up my life every day. I literally feel time escaping me. Nothing essentially ever happens anymore, at least not here. No more feeling good or content, just pretending constantly that I’m not a failure, one that came about against my intentions, and without my permission, just so other people could have it “their way”.