There’s something unsettling about our reality, and it doesn’t really make sense...

I can’t help but to admit that there’s something deep about this world which truly terrifies me and makes me feel as though I’m about to go down into a vortex. I was reading on Wiki about various musicians, and there’s something about it, their life situation or perhaps something of the like, which greatly unsettles me and makes me feel so unpleasant that yes, LITERALLY, it feels just like what you feel when you notice someone dying from lethal injection. Quite honestly, I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but there’s like an alternate reality out there which I’ll be swallowed by, like a tornado. Is this what’s called a rite of passage? Even though my feelings have been downright indescribable, as I just descirbed, there’s a little sliver of “light” which makes me feel hopeful about all of this, and that there must be a reason for these feelings. I feel that even the worst of all feelings are important and we as people need to experience them; for what reason, is anyone’s guess, but there must be something much more to this life than meets the surface. There’s definitely more to life, at least to mine, than can possibly be described or explained. I’m in some truly deep territory here. And by deep, I mean as in hundreds or thousands of feet below the surface, whether it be the surface of water or ground doesn’t matter. These feelings have a truly high cost which I can’t express, at least not using words. You don’t need to tell me, I understand that all of this is terrifying just reading about it, but I thought that I had to try to release the steam from below, and get some fresh air from above. Perhaps it’s my delusion that I once lived a life before this, and things were much like they are here, and I know where this is going to; I’m not trying to go that far, but still, it’s still unexplainable. If I haven’t mentioned already, there’s something deep and disturbing about this life in general, and the reason I haven’t thought about it before is that most of my feelings are currently unconscious.