Negative Concern for today

I want to repel everything that’s negative. I’m greatly worried when it comes to going on vacation anywhere; there’s still injustice left for me to deal with at home; it’s not like it was years ago, when I wasn’t hurt or mistreated yet. This could be a very bad vacation, full of bad luck. If anyone wants to be mean or angry at me, then I can tell them that I’ve been mistreated already and have an excuse to be violent. So today, I’m like in a state of limbo, but soon I’ll fall off the cliff because my emotions will push me too far, and then there’s nothing good to be said about any of this. Like I’ve already mentioned, some will never befriend me again, and will be unforgiving until my last day has passed...and they will never apologize to me. What a shame...my life ruined because of such stupid circumstances. I honestly think that I’ve been let down by people, some of who are demented when it comes to my emotional state. What I would’ve given up to reverse this situation? Everything.