No respite in my life

No respite in my life, for about 5 years...I've been called a bitch by people, and until I can turn things around, I will be depressed or in anguish constantly. I've been sent to the hospital for this, I've felt great pain because of this, and I've been sent to various therapists because of this. As a result, I've had horrible feelings deep inside, of anguish and despair that don't ever seem to end! All because there has been constantly something bothering me deep down for years. Once I finally get down to the bottom of this, will I be able to make a plan and will things be able to be turned around? I feel like I get easily traumatized when someone does something to me, but there has got to be a way out! I know that hurting myself won't help, and maybe others are to blame for what has happened to me? You probably haven't seen me in a while because of this. Wish I could get my life back! If I could change the past, I'd change everything that ever happened, starting from the first day of my life. People are the problem; and they could've very well been responsible for my death! All the while, I thought that not a single person in the world cared for me, because that's really how it was; they could care less!