Some Thoughts About Life On Earth

Here's my thought about our life on Earth. I think that we only visitors, and that we only stay here for a very limited amount of time. I think that we as people are too overly critical and that has a very negative influence on me. I've been ravaged psychologically to what seems like the point of no return. I'm far too sensitive to boredom, which comes as a result of mundanity. No matter where I find myself, it's not good, for I must have change in my life. I hate waking up everyday to the same stuff, even if I were living in a luxurious mansion or hotel. I feel like whatever is mundane is causing me loss of time and that that time which is being lost could have been filled up with what's actually important. What a realization, isn't it? Well, what else? I've just written about eight paragraphs of this post, only to see it get removed. Anyway, the essence of existence, that's what it was about. Life itself, with regards to how my life has ended up until now, is not inherently fair. And therefore, life is not inherently acceptable. This is based off of my own life. Who knows, it might as well apply to your life as well. Please listen to all that I've written so far, because I've gained quite a lot of wisdom. I've been suffering psychologically. Essentially, and literally, I think that there is a framework, or blueprint, that exists in my mind. The essence of my personal existence has been to live according to this framework, since this framework has done nothing except to greatly benefit me and bring me a seemingly infinite amount of happiness. But it seems as though this blueprint, this plan if you will, hasn't been keeping up with how my life has been going; somewhere along the line, things have gone totally awry. And I've paid the price for it by suffering immensely. As a result, I might be viewed as insane or mentally unstable, although I assure you that that's not how it is at all. Maybe it is the other way around, but either way is bad anyways. I feel as though I've literally lost time in life. And I can't redeem time; it's not as though I'll get back time. The time that I've lost could've brought me unending happiness and all that is great. But instead, I'll be haunted by this for as long as I live. And that's quite a realization, isn't it? I literally feel as though once I lived in a totally different world, one that was peaceful, happy and all in all great. And back then, I wasn't afraid of anything; I didn't actually know what anguish and despair felt like. I even had feelings that were worse than depression! But what bothers me most about life, is not that things were bad in the past, but what is more profound is that I can't get a blank slate now. I can't erase the past! And this is where I get to the conclusion that life is unforgiving. Well, at least the past is. And I'm haunted by this for the rest of my life. My past mental states have left permanent scars. And it's sad, but for some reason I think that it's an important aspect of life to know, because I've been through it. Psychologically speaking, I've been permanently disabled. Before that, I think I was on an important quest towards something great, but now I won't ever be able to get there. My life has literally disintegrated even though you can't see it directly or tell that it is so. Sure, people as individuals might be cynical, but there's another word that I'm trying to use that's somewhat the same. I'm trying to convey, or express, that people don't simply think solely about themselves too much, but in thinking too much about other people and society in general, which they perceive as "sane", they fail to care or think about me enough. Now THAT'S DEPRESSING...but true. 😢 And keep this wisdom in  mind. I'm not exaggerating any of this. Look at the world from my perspective.