I don't want to live this way

I don't want to live this way. This life is anything but acceptable, it's forsaken. My existence is forsaken from the beginning, and I don't want to live a life that's meant to be this way. There can't be a possibility of this proceeding any further. There must be an end to everything. Otherwise I will keep dieing inside, it feels as though I keep getting killed by the reality of how reality works. Here I am, and I'm clearly and remarkably suffering mentally. This is no better than the worst that could happen. I'm being plagued by extremely deep feelings that will never go away, and it's like a deadly disease that's spreading, though I have figuratively died many times from this disease. I've got a lost soul of mine that doesn't know anymore about fairness and what it's like to exist normally. I feel as though those with depression, despair, and other such feelings are extremely lucky, because for me, I have no emotion left because as I've already mentioned, it's like I've died already. That's what I feel like; dead. literally. I keep noticing that noone notices this however, life is anything but bad to everyone else. I feel like people care far more about society in general rather than about the individual (me). Clearly I'm not enjoying life and there's more bad to life than there is good to life. And I have to face the consequences on a daily basis, constantly being in stress and being nervous. There's not really anything else I can actually say that could help myself, or to make things better. I've ran out of options and ideas to get my life to even be minimally enjoyable but clearly it's not working. Blame it on this or that, but it won't be true because you won't understand. Clearly people don't understand this because they're not on the same level as me.