I Can't Retrieve Lost Time

Don't you wish that time was actually something that was tangible? Like, think about it: what if you could actually gain time, literally? If that's how it were, then I would be probably buying back the past. The past has gone past us too fast, at an incredible past. I fear for just how quickly time will flow like in the future! It seems that it takes a  higher consciousness to realize all of this, or else many people would have realized this by now. Because we don't appreciate the time that not just ourselves, but others, have, we show disrespect towards time. We can't just think about the time on Earth that we have. We also need to think about individuals, not society in general. I feel like people need to gain a new understanding of how time is for me. For me, time, seems as though it goes by differently than other people. For me, time goes by either extremely fast or extremely slowly. It's like a roller coaster ride, and it affects my emotions. I feel sad. I actually feel worse than depressed, when time goes by slower than usual, and I don't feel any better when time goes by faster because then it goes by too fast. It makes my life feel worse than it actually could be. My life could be the worst that anyone has it, though I feel even worse than what the worst life would be like. How can time go by like this? We must awaken, and I feel worse every second of my life. I'm forced to live, not because I want to but so others will be satisfied. But this isn't the way things are meant to be. I can't appreciate life this way, and more importantly, I shouldn't live this way.