I'm fucking pissed off

I'm fucking pissed off; I could've easily hurt myself; and because of that, I'm like past frustrated. And that would've happened thanks to, or because of, other people. I was not treated perfectly in High School. People kept calling me a bitch at times and that might have been a major main factor as to why I became depressed, and eventually fell into perpetual sadness, despair, and even anguish which I'm still in and it shows no signs of dissipating/disappearing. I'm fucking pissed because of the way people have treated for the last five years, ever since I finished High School. When I was graduating, I knew that something was totally wrong, I just couldn't perfectly target what the fuck it was. Now I'm aware. I don't want to trust anyone at all. It's as though something kept telling me on that last day of high school, "don't graduate, or it will be like suicide". It was true, and still rings true; that One day I'll die, and that's when I'll finally have peace! I can't express my outrage, I'm fucking furious deep inside, and rightly so! People have hurt me for real, and I don't want to hold a grudge but at the same time, people are unapologetic. All I can be, or at least it seems, is to be a bastard myself! "This has to change"; well, this should've changed five years ago!!! I feel as though I've died, (literally), and it feels fucking horrible. I was once a perfectly fine person, but my life was tainted. I didn't realize it, but now I realize, that my life isn't fair and that the place from where I come from is far from perfect.