What Life Should Mean

In my opinion, life is meant to be peaceful and pleasant, and neither peace nor pleasure is a part of my life. I'm a lost soul who can't ever get back to the life that is meant to be. I remember it being different, but I can't even grasp the fact that life is how it is or how it was, because the difference is something, an aspect, that I can't describe. Life and the benefits that it provides, which include happiness and anything that is good, is not worth my pain and suffering.