What Did I Do? Where Did I Go Wrong? You Have To Be Crazy! PLEASE HELP ME!

What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? Everything was going by absolutely perfectly, and then I get condemned and it's like the world is finished off with, and so is my life. I must cross the horizon, and get to the other side. The horizon of life, that is. There must be an alternate way, or path out! This is what must happen, or else I face more grueling times ahead. Health is more important than life. Health of the soul is more important that what is going on to me down here on Earth. I must cross to the other side and be free of all of my problems. I need the freedom that it foretails. I need to be one with the universe. My job keeps making me worse every moment, and every moment of my forsaken life I feel like I'm either going to pass out or get a heart attack. I'm done, I don't want to live this life anymore. It's not the same life as it was once before. In fact, it is now a totally different life, in which I only experience anguish and despair, and am forsaken as a result. It's unfortunate but true, and it's gotten to be a toxic reality, literally a toxic relationship of me and something that goes beyond me! I don't hate my life. I despise my life as of now. Everything is grueling and punishing, and there is no way out as far as I can see. But if I can get over the horizon, then maybe I will find what's better and healthier for me. There is a horizon of life, and beyond this horizon, whatever it may be, is better for me and is where I want to rest. I mean, I truly and honestly wish that the entire world was now ending and that it was coming to cease to exist, so that I can feel better because it would be a reflection of my life. I would then know that peace is coming and all of my problems will soon be coming to an end, if the world would come to an end. By letting all of my problems simply go away, I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. For goodness sake, please hope that this is how it's going to be, or else there is nothing to talk or think about when it has to do with the future. Many people are probably dealing with harsh feelings such as depression, though my emotions have definitely gone over the top and are not even describable anymore. You may think to yourself that someone might be looking from down above, such as a higher power. And even if that's true (I'm not saying it is or isn't) then I will hope that whoever is looking from down above agrees, or otherwise life, and everything, is simply not fair! The evaluation of my life and in fact the evaluation of life in general is not fair, because it's misunderstood. You can't understand my life, because, as I've already mentioned, it's indescribable. So to say that my life should keep going on, or that I will be punished or condemned for my actions, is simply not a fair evaluation of life! Because for goodness sake, if you were me, you'd be thinking the same and you'd certainly know what I'm talking about. Everything must come to an end, and so do my problems. My problems must come to an end now and as soon as possible. I mean, I can't live like this at all, I must escape the indescribable. To you, it's probably otherwise known as the unknown. And that's exactly what it feels like, the future of my life is the unknown to you, but I am already condemned. Please. Help. Me. I must convey my psychological state, because my mind is sensing how reality is really going to be. The truth, what is the truth? The truth is what's written in this post. And it will probably make everyone depressed, and take them to the deepest feelings and/or emotions that they can think of, but they will never attain the same kinds of emotions as I am feeling in current times. A message to the world, would be to just do something to make this all come to an end. I wish that you or someone else could help me whatsoever, but as I've already mentioned multiple times, is that the indescribable is happening and you just don't understand how critical this writing is. After all, it's better not to know about or think about anything, because instead, the soul should be left to rest. And nothing should pay me a visit except rest, and contentment.